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Holding Them Lightly Not Tightly

Philosophy View of Tightly

Firmly or closely fixed in place; not easily moved; secure.

Drawn or stretched to be tense.

Affording little or no extra room; fitting closely, especially too closely.

Difficult to deal with or manage.


Biblical View of Tightly

Now the gates of Jericho were securely barred because of the Israelites. No one went out and no one came in. Joshua 6:1 NIV
For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise, they might see their eyes. Hear with their ears, understand with their heart sand turn, and I would heal them Matthew 13:15 NIV

How hard is it to let people go- especially our loved ones, families, and children. We need God’s help to hold them lightly not tightly, we also need God’s help to let them go on their own when the time comes -after all, Children should be raised in a Godly manner so that when the time comes we can send them off to fulfil God’s plan for their lives.

There is a book in the bible that has a story relating to this topic, that book is the book of Ruth. An important theme of the book of Ruth is loyalty, which is shown in abundance by Ruth to her mother-in-law Naomi, in the aftermath of her husband’s death. Loyalty is about remaining faithful to someone regardless of what is going in their life and Ruth provides a perfect example. The relationship between Ruth and Naomi could be likened to that of a mother and daughter. Ruth cared for Naomi like a daughter would for a mother.

Now it came time for Naomi to let go of this young woman who had become a part of her life for an extended period of time. These two women had been through so much together.

They had wept and laughed together.

Talked and worked together.

They had travelled and set up a home together.

They had spent an awful lot of time together.

But the time had come for Naomi to let Ruth go. Ruth was still young, and because of Naomi’s concern for her welfare, she wanted to see Ruth settled so she could move on with her life. Naomi initiated the process of letting go! She was now old and poor and knew she didn’t have much to offer to Naomi, she had left Bethlehem full and came back home empty but Naomi would not hear of it.

I went out full and the Lord hath brought me home again empty: why then call ye me Naomi, seeing the Lord hath testified against me, and the Almighty hath afflicted me? Ruth 1:21 KJV

Boaz was supposed to be Naomi’s near Kingsman, not Ruth’s. What in the world is a “Kingsman redeemer” you may wonder? According to Deuteronomy 25 :5-6 A Kingman redeemer directed that a relative of a man who dies should marry that man’s widow in order to perpetuate his lineage through this woman.

If you had brethrens living together, and one of them died, and had no children, the wife of the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger: her husband’s brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform the duty of a husband unto her.

And it shall be, that the firstborn which she beareth shall succeed in the name of his brother which is dead, that his name be not put out of Israel Deuteronomy 25:5-6KJV

Naomi could have married him! yet she sent Ruth on a mission to claim Boaz in marriage. (See Ruth 3:1-15)

The plan worked, and the book of Ruth ends with everyone, including Naomi living happily

I am amazed and challenged by Naomi’s actions. How did she find the strength to put Ruth’s happiness before her own? Naomi who had lost husband, home and sons had never lost her faith in the living God.

Are you having a hard time relinquishing a young person you love? As you cling to God, you will be able to let go of others. The love of God helps us to give up our own needs so that other’s needs may be met. Notice that Naomi herself was cared for in return by Ruth and Boaz. She even got to take care of her grandchild.

And Naomi took the child, and laid it in her bosom, and became nurse unto it. Ruth 4:16 KJV

Letting go is a learned art, and God is our teacher! Ask him to teach you to let your children go. Ask him to help you hold them lightly not tightly.

RUTH 3:1-15KJV
And now is not Boaz of our kindred, with whose maidens thou wast? Behold, he winnoweth barley to night in the threshing floor.
Wash thyself therefore, and anoint thee, and put thy raiment upon thee, and get thee down to the floor: but make not thyself known unto the man, until he shall have done eating and drinking.
And it shall be, when he lieth down, that thou shalt mark the place where he shall lie, and thou shalt go in, and uncover his feet, and lay thee down; and he will tell thee what thou shalt do.
And she said unto her, all that thou sayest unto me I will do.
And she went down unto the floor and did according to all that her mother-in-law bade her.
And when Boaz had eaten and drunk, and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of corn: and she came softly, and uncovered his feet, and laid her down.
And it came to pass at midnight, that the man was afraid, and turned himself: and behold, a woman lay at his feet.
And he said, Who art thou? And she answered, I am Ruth thine handmaid: spread therefore thy skirt over thine handmaid; for thou art a near kinsman.
And he said, Blessed be thou of the Lord, my daughter: for thou hast shewed more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning, inasmuch as thou followedst not young men, whether poor or rich.
And now, my daughter, fear not; I will do to thee all that thou requirest: for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman.
And now it is true that I am thy near kinsman: howbeit there is a kinsman nearer than I.
Tarry this night, and it shall be in the morning, that if he will perform unto thee the part of a kinsman, well; let him do the kinsman’s part: but if he will not do the part of a kinsman to thee, then will I do the part of a kinsman to thee, as the Lord liveth: lie down until the morning.
And she lay at his feet until the morning: and she rose up before one could know another. And he said, Let it not be known that a woman came into the floor.
Also, he said, Bring the vail that thou hast upon thee, and hold it. And when she held it, he measured six measures of barley, and laid it on her: and she went into the city. Ruth 3:1-15 KJV

Let us remember God longs to bless us through giving but we should know that he blesses us to be a blessing not to keep it all for ourselves. Sometimes we find ourselves in some difficult places in life like Naomi who had suffered excruciating loss, but God had not left her or forgotten her. He kept her through those times and provided for her more than she ever expected or imagined so let us not lose faith when life doesn’t seem to be going as we expect, let us continue to hold on. Despite what we have been given let us hold on very lightly knowing that God can do exceedingly , abundantly more than we can ever imagine despite our circumstances or our losses.

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